I just glanced at the breaking news that Trump is doing something to help the farmers. I couldn’t help but notice how he mentioned the farmers at on point had been targeted by China in regards to suppressing them. I could be jumping the gun and I don’t mean to create any type of hysteria but I had a weird thought of Trump wanting to wage war with China. He seems to always mention them and always has. Is it his mentality of always wanting to be the best that he has a fear of China because they are a large nation? He’s always talked shit about China and the more I think about it I feel like we are starting to head back into history. I feel like the fear of communism could come back again. If anything, this pandemic has done a good job of showing how dangerous a communist regime could be. He’d have a good cause and probably a lot of support to go after them. I don’t know, I really didn’t even want to write about this shit tonight but it’s what popped in my head and what happened to come on as I was starting to write. What I was going to write about is not much better than the scenario I’ve created above. I was thinking about how I think another depression is inevitable as part of the fallout of this pandemic. I feel like I will be okay, just because I have confidence in the company I work for and that I would still be employed. I’ve also worked for the company for a long time and know my shit so I have value as well. I think that’s all I’ve got to say now.
It’s funny how things change over time. I used to listen to music on pandora at work. Now, most of the time I find myself listening to a few different podcasts on youtube during the day. Most of them are just goofy comedy shit because if you’re laughing you’re doing good. It helps to keep me in a positive mood. Today, I was listening to one of my favorites. Your Mom’s House. While interviewing their guest on the episode they were discussing certain interactions with fans they’ve had. Particularly the ones that are a bit annoying and just continue to keep the interaction going longer than it should have and in the ways they’ve handled it. It brought me back to when I was in my 20’s. I haven’t personally met too many famous people in my life. I’ve seen some and usually tend to leave them be just out of respect. On the first time I truly met someone who I feel was famous I was a complete fan boy. Also, completely fucking drunk. It was the lead singer and songwriter for the band Rusted Root, Michael Glabicki. He was doing a solo acoustic tour and he played at a very small place near where I live called The Brickhouse. I went to the show with my brother and our friend Matt. The same dudes I do most of my traveling with. We got there early and Lo and Behold, there he was just hanging out at the bottom of the stairs. Holy shit, I thought to myself. I didn’t think anything of it and went up to him shook his hand and he was very polite. I told him I was looking forward to the show. I let him be at that moment and commenced to drink with the guys. The show was great and afterwards he sat on the edge of the stage and was signing CD’s. I was wasted at this point so I went up and sat next to him and he we talked for awhile. He signed the set list and gave it to me as well as signed a couple of the CD’s I bought off him. It was a great experience, however listening to them talk on that podcast made me think of that moment and I thought to myself, fuck! I think I was that guy. I couldn’t tell at the time though because of how drunk I was and the fact that he was super cool. Who knows, maybe he didn’t mind it and maybe he liked the attention. He handled it well regardless.
Other people I’ve seen out and about or met are Ryan Adams, I walked by him on the street in Portland, Maine a couple hours before he was going to be playing. I’ve met Mike Scott and Steve Wickham of The Waterboys in Boston after they performed. Mike was promoting his autobiography and was signing copies of it after the show and Steve went with him so they could perform together. I also saw Steve Wickham on the streets of Cork, Ireland a few hours before seeing The Waterboys play that night. Daryl Hall has a restaurant/club that he opened in Pawling, New York several years ago. On the first New Year’s Eve that he had the place he was performing with the band there, no Oates but that was ok. It’s a small intimate club and my wife and I went up for that. She was my girlfriend back then. After he performed he hung out and took photos with everyone. I wanted to give him some breathing room so I kinda hung back for awhile. So long I almost missed my chance as he was getting ready to leave and security was keeping people away so he could leave. My wife helped me out and asked if would mind taking one with the both of us because she had gotten one with him already but I wanted one with the 3 of us. He was super cool about it and waved off security for one more photo. That meant a lot to me. Last but not least, on the following morning I was coming back into the hotel after smoking a cigarette and walking towards me was the sax player for Hall and Oates. He’s easy to recognize with the beard and the long hair. I saw him and said Hey. I saw him give me the quick glance of oh fuck. I made it quick and simply stuck my hand out and shook his and said “Great show last night.” He smiled, said thanks and we went our ways like ships passing in the night. Those are my celeb encounters thus far. I’ve been fortunate none of them were asses.
I’m too honest for my own good sometimes. The best example of that was last night. My wife had found a frame for a picture that we had gotten taken a couple months back. She was happy she had found it, she likes to creep around the neighborhood and find treasures that people are looking to throw out. This frame was one of them. She brought it in and being myself I said “It’s not gonna work, it’s too fucking big.”
That wasn’t the right answer. Needless to say it made her upset and we had a minor beef about it. Now, I’m a honest to goodness knucklehead and should know by now that sometimes its just better to lie. I wasn’t really thinking much of it when I said it to her at the time and I felt bad as it had hurt her feelings… The truth often hurts and that’s why there’s so much bullshit in life. Many people are clearly much smarter than me and simply lie to make their life easier. I’m here to announce I am going to try to start doing that as well. My wife and I talked about it this morning and when I got home from work I got confirmation. I asked her “So you’re giving me permission to lie to you?”
She said “If you know I’m happy about something, yes, don’t burst my bubble.”
Okay, so this will be a strange change for me but nonetheless, it should make my life a hell of a lot easier as long as I can stick with it. Wish me luck.
I’ve mentioned in an earlier post that this quarantine has not really affected me too much. I have been fortunate to still be working and I don’t go out too much in the first place. Nonetheless, I am still aware of everything going on. Many others are not as fortunate as I am in regards to working and the quarantine is making an impact. People are definitely starting to get stir crazy I feel. It’s getting in their heads that it’s a government conspiracy to control us. Now I don’t trust the government either, but for the whole world to collaborate?? That’s some serious planning. My view on it is that this is preparation for a worse type of illness. One you can’t help but ignore due to a higher death rate. It’s been visible with this one, but because it’s being compared to the flu people are very speculative. I get it, I had been too. To be honest it doesn’t matter to me. I have been quarantining ok so far. I’ve liked it because it has created a cause for renovation. Talk shows are being done from homes and through webcams. It’s not the best but still I like something different. I like a little bit of chaos. I like to see the reaction and how people hopefully can come together for a greater good. I’m not quite sure we are there. I think it started out like that but the longer the quarantine goes and the longer people are unable to work to pay bills, well shit’s going to get nasty. It’s getting close to that. The stimulus was pretty much a joke from how I saw it, especially with how long it is taking for people to get them. It’s going to be gone by the time it’s received for many I bet. If the country isn’t opened by then, it’s going to be bad. I just hope that when things do open up it’s not too soon. China is starting to have flare ups again. Can we believe those reports??? I don’t know, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was true. What if it mutates to something else? I don’t want to cause any paranoia but I think they are things to think about and consider. I wish everyone well during these times and please don’t go crazy. Before you go down desperation road and want to rob people, how bout just simply asking before getting violent? Hopefully, they will give you what you may need within obvious reason. Food, shelter, water. Those are essential needs that no one should have to fight for. That’s if it were a perfect world. We all know it’s not but isn’t it something we should strive for?
The best preparation for handling bullies in the future is an older brother. At least in my experience. There’s six years between us, so it was a sizable difference in my early years. I spent a majority of my days as a child begging for the day that I would be big enough to even the score. You find ways to adapt when you are undersized by that amount. I grew up observing my environment and distinguishing how anything around me could be used as a weapon. Something to use as an equalizer when the time came for battle. Regardless, I had many defeats and would find myself trapped again in the dreaded suffocation lock. Once my brother was able to grab hold of me he would just literally blanket himself on me. Pinning me down and breathing on my neck and saying in my ear “It’s the suffocation lock! It’s the suffocation lock!”
God, I hated that. I did have a few triumphs. There was one time he had gotten me in a full nelson. I was not going to let him keep me there this time. I bucked and bronc’d like a bull until my head slid through and I reverse headbutted him in the mouth causing him to let go. He immediately tried to get me in trouble for hurting him. Thankfully mom didn’t take the bait and told him he asked for it.
She didn’t always take my side though. I suppose she had good reason for the one time I really remember. To her credit she had reason to be upset with me. My brother and his friend were harassing me outside. Talking shit, goading me, and even spitting at me. The spitting was what pissed me off. I felt disrespected and these assholes were gonna pay. I picked up a rock and they saw in my eyes I was going to throw it. They took off running into the woods. I ran a little to catch up and to get some momentum behind my throw. Now, to this day I don’t know how other than by divine intervention it struck. It did and with fury. I saw my brother go down. I couldn’t believe it. How the hell did that actually hit him? He was running full speed through a thick patch of woods but with pinpoint accuracy it struck him in the back of the head. At the time I didn’t feel bad about it. I felt it was justified and he’d gotten what he’d deserved. When mom found out about this one I was not greeted with her support. In fact, I was greeted with ” You could’ve killed your brother!”
Those were the words she said to me before she took off to bring him to the hospital. I was worried the whole time, crying, thinking he could die when he got to the hospital. It wasn’t life threatening by any means, but I didn’t know that. It did require a couple stitches though. They also had to shave a small patch of hair. Hair at the time he was so proudly growing. In the long run, I don’t think he ever spit on me again.
So I’ve finally delved into trying to organize this damn site a little more. I’m literally clueless on building a good website so it’s all a self learning process. I was happy to finally get some of my content on here organized a little better. I hope it’s easier to navigate for people now. Anyways, not too much else to say at the moment. I sort of drained myself just digging around and actually working so to speak. Writing is the easy part as far as this is concerned but getting it a little tidier was bit of a task. Hope it helps and I’ll be back soon with some new stuff.
Today while listening to Pandora at work, I heard “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel. I had a memory playback in my mind. It was just a small snippet of myself sitting with Eloise and Veronica, who were two Irish women I had met on my trip and we were drinking wine. It was random how it just popped up like that but I know why. If you are new to my blog you may want to look at my journal entries I had posted towards the beginning of when I started this blog. You will read on how I reflect on a moment when I actually played “In Your Eyes” on guitar and sang it at one point under the encouragement of Eloise and Veronica. I think the memory brought me to that same night just not my performance of that song. Mainly, because I don’t think I did so well with it and it’s something I would probably rather forget. I forget how I did and I think that’s my brain’s defense mechanism. I remember it happening that’s for sure just not how it went. Anyways, I’m getting a bit long winded on the whole point I want to make. When that small little snippet played in my mind, I felt a sense of peace and gratefulness. It opened my eyes to how fortunate I have been in my life. While that trip was far from perfect, in fact quite the opposite, I couldn’t help but think to myself. Wow, you’re really fortunate to have been able to do that. Along with many other travels I have been able to do. Most of them have been to Ireland and all of those trips remain dear to me as well. I even just got back in early February from a small Euro trip. I was fortunate not only for taking that trip but also on the timing of it because it was in the very beginning of the reports coming in on COVID-19. Experiences are what make life. Not money. Granted I am aware it takes money to have some experiences like travel but there are also experiences you may have had that didn’t cost anything. During these times, I think it’s best that everyone stop and think of simple things and maybe realize that not everything sucks all the time. I’ll also say, if you have that moment of clarity like I did earlier today. It will put you in a better mood. The past couple days I’ve been on a bit of an anger tear and I’m happy I had that moment today. It helped to reset my mind and realize I’ve been a fortunate one. For that, I’m thankful.
I may have went a bit hard in the paint yesterday on those whom voted for Trump. I should clarify a little about that. The ones it was really directed towards are those loyalist scum. The ones that think anything derogatory about him is “fake news”. Those are the ones that it is directed towards. I don’t have any tolerance for those that are so maliciously fucking dumb. It is really a hazard. Events like this almost make me think that hmmm… maybe there is a God and even He’s had enough of this stupidity. The movie “Idiocracy” was supposed to be a work of fiction but it looks more like it was a prediction at the rate we are going. As you can tell, I am at the very end of my rope with this administration at the moment. The more frustrating thing is how he somehow has unwavering support. I simply just don’t get it. Some people claim, well, he’s doing what he said he would. Well, read yesterday’s blog because truth is he’s not. He hasn’t done anything about draining the swamp as he says. He’s turned the swamp into an outright sewer. Oh, how much has Mexico paid for this beautiful wall that they are trying to build? Oh, I believe that would be fucking nothing. I’m just sick and tired of the blatant willingness to turn a blind eye to some of the shit that’s been said and done by this president. No cares for anything other than himself and people seem to lap that shit right up. I don’t know I guess I just can’t relate to them. I can deal with a crass president that doesn’t bother me a bit. In fact, I can understand that draw. It’s the narcissism and complete lack of truth that he represents I simply can not stand for. I remember shortly after he was elected Kelly Ann Conway speaking about “Alternative Facts” that should have been the first sign to everyone that we were in for at least 4 years of complete and utter bullshit. Facts are facts, there’s no alternative just because it doesn’t match with what you want to think. I believe there’s some sort of saying where if you tell a lie enough times it becomes truth. Let’s not get to that point, please. If you do, well that’s sort of how the Holocaust started. Lies. If you want that to happen again, well by all means we are bound for it if we continue to be listening the bullshit. The worst thing is that I am aware there is a lot of fake shit out there and that is what makes this whole thing worse. Trump isn’t 100% wrong when he had first brought up fake news. The problem is that there are hack journalists out there that write bullshit. I don’t like that either. That needs to stop, because all it does is give the slightest bit of credibility to the least credible person around. I want to believe people are better. It’s sad that there’s a large majority that make me think otherwise. Please prove me wrong.
I’ve had a lack in motivation for writing lately. As you can tell from the lack of posts that have gone up. I had big plans for a story and still nothing… I haven’t had the motivation to sit down and start writing it. Mainly, because I keep having ideas pop into my head. I’m really letting my brain stew on these ideas as well. I want it to be really good so I need to be careful not to rush in and fuck it up. Maybe I should try just going traditional paper and pen and see how it goes. Just to get it started. Anyways, enough about that for now. We have a pandemic to worry about. I mean it. I won’t lie. In the beginning of all this I didn’t make much of it. I thought it was overblown by the media. I never thought that it would create the shit storm that it has. To be brutally honest, I was laughing it off. The reason being was because of how they compare it to the flu. While it may be a new strain of flu, it is still so much more different. The main thing being how long the incubation period is for it. That being the most dangerous time because you are slowly infecting everyone else and they don’t know it and neither do you because you are contagious without having symptoms. Once that news broke, was when it clicked in my head and I realized, this is going to be a problem. Cases continue to rise and the death count as well. We are just starting to head towards what they expect to be the peak in the U.S. It’s sad to think that the only real concern for our president is how his briefing ratings on this are higher than “The Bachelor” We picked a real winner America. Or I should say, some of you did. Yeah, you know who you are. I don’t know how anybody believed a word out of his mouth in the first place. Drain the swamp? Building a wall and Mexico paying for it? What happened to that? How can you not see the blatant bullshit? I beg of you to actually take in facts for once. They wonder why people get so pissed at them. It’s because there’s nothing between the ears of substance. Well, one thing that may happen from this is that it kills off his supporters. Nature is cruel and it’s natural selection at its best. Now, mind you I don’t really wish death upon anyone. I’ll be honest though and say I could do without some people. Trump would be so proud to hear that he’s number one.
I have an interesting idea for a story I am going to write. I was actually just typing some and deleted all of it for the time being. I still wanted to write something and post it and that’s where we stand right now. I had a lot of thoughts blast through my brain while I started writing. Then my dog jumped on the couch with me and caused just enough of a distraction so that the weed hit me and took my brain on a different path. I had some good ideas blast through my mind but I just have to work it out. Too many ideas and it made everything too complex to piece together. Something’s cooking in the kitchen though, and I don’t want to burn it. Nom sayin’? (translation know what I’m saying?)