Well, I wish that my initial feelings would be stronger as I write this, but I have had about 1 1/2 hours of driving, almost 2 hard ciders, and toked a bowl since my first feelings of frustration and anger that made me want to write about it in the first place.
It’s simple and just stems back to my job. I’m not like a majority of the people that work in my company where they only serve one purpose and know jack shit about anything else. Even some of those with just that one purpose, suck at that, so that drives my frustration even higher with my job. My manager feels the same way too. She’s the same. She’s put work and effort and pride in the job and is reliable. She is a strong part of the company and they would be up shit creek for a while if she were to say fuck it some day and leave. One of the biggest reasons I haven’t done that, is because I don’t want to screw her over. That’s all it would do, is screw her over. Other than that, the truth is I would be replaceable. Would the replacement be able to do what I do? I would find it unlikely. I’m not saying that out of arrogance, I’m saying that out of honesty. I’ve been doing my job a long time and have worked hard and for awhile I felt like I was appreciated. Appreciation is a big motivator. I don’t think just for me, but for most people. It’s been building up over the last few years. There have been many changes since I have worked there. Most of them I was happy about. We decided to concentrate our efforts strictly on a couple items as opposed to all items. To make a long story short I work for a CPAP supply company. If you don’t know what CPAP is, google it and go from there. Sorry, just don’t want dull down this with the description of my work.
Anyways, we used to do oxygen too and I used to be on call quite a bit. We decided to get out of that business and just go to CPAP/supplies and orthopedic bracing. This decision led to something I had wanted for a long time and that was no more being on call. It was a breath of fresh air and I looked forward to that. The only kicker was it did effect my income. It was a hit I was willing to take. It has made some things more difficult but I still get by.
My frustrations have increased as we have gotten busier. It’s a good thing to be and I don’t mind but when you have as many responsibilities I have, there are a lot of things that falter. Increased orders to process which is my primary objective as that is a major means of revenue for the company. More orders processed in a day, more money earned. It’s easy for me to let other things drop off when I know I am doing what is needed to earn money for the company. On top of processing orders I am supposed to send machines out for repairs when needed, call in machines for warranty exchange, manage inventory for my location as well as one that is 45 minutes away, in charge of sending out boxes/labels to people that need to send their machines back for my location, clean machines that have come back and make sure they work, get equipment ready 2 days a week for our clinician who has appointments, and I think that about sums it up. I was told a few months ago that someone else was going to take over the other location’s inventory and stocking it but there has been no word since. On top of that we are moving out of our location and moving to another location. It’s not too much further away than the current one thankfully. We are moving in a few weeks and there’s a lot of crap still at our location that needs to be taken.
Over the weekend the CEO had received some photos of the our location and he sent an email to my manger for me to clean it out.
Yeah, ok on top of all the other shit I have to do. Like I wasn’t aware of the mess that was there. Of course I know! I’m trying to make you money and do you think I’m dumb enough to not get it cleaned out by the time we are moving so that everything is ready and so that it will be as easy as possible. That’s how much he doesn’t know me. Stay out of my hair dude, I got this. You worry about your other shit employees who’s shit I fuckin fix on a regular basis. As a matter of fact there’s several that wouldn’t be missed, but you know what? You might replace me but they won’t be me. I’ve worked my ass for this company. Have pleased many people, had to settle patients down, and at times been the reason why we retained a patient. The people were irate with the company because of other people’s failures to know what they were doing. The culture is just fucked is all. The company honestly has a handful of worthy people that have half an idea of what’s going on. The others just get in the way. Anyways, I guess I tapped back into my angers and frustrations. That’s what I wanted I suppose. I’m hoping after the move things will get better. I feel like they will. We are moving to a smaller space so we can’t have as much inventory and there is already processes in place for the return machines and repairs to be down out of the main office. I guess I just wish I was appreciated for my efforts at work. I have lost my desire to go above and beyond at my work like I used to. I believe it’s because I feel like working all that much harder doesn’t get me anywhere. No Christmas bonuses the last few years… granted not for anyone either or not to my knowledge. I don’t anticipate one this year. No real incentives to work harder. Sure, I can work overtime but I don’t have the desire to do that because the only rewards I get for working overtime is more taxes taken. Yeah, that sounds awesome! Anyways, I suppose I should close as I am just going to rile myself up again. I think I should smoke another bowl. Bye.
Basket of Thoughts 