Basket of Thoughts

Thoughts from my mind to the internet

True story. Or at least that’s what my mind was telling me last Saturday night. It’s taken a bit of time for me to actually come around to writing about this experience. Mostly due to the fact that a lot of it is actually really difficult to describe but I’m sure as hell going to try anyways. I may do a part 2 of this at some point from other perspectives at the time of the incidents from that night. Until then, well I’m just going to have to give it my best go. To start, I have no idea how much I had scale wise. I’ve not been spooked by these kinds of things most of the time and if anything have backed into psychedelic experiences. That was all about to change. I had a couple of big caps of shrooms, didn’t think it would really be much different then some of my other times. Thought I’d see some cool visuals and such and go on my way…. Well, I was dead fucking wrong. I’ll start with what I remember prior to things going upside down on me. I felt them kicking in but I was feeling tired, so I close my eyes. Now, if you’ve never taken shrooms before, when you close your eyes, you don’t see the darkness of your eyelids. In fact you see unbelievable and weird shit to be honest. I can’t really explain what I was seeing at that point other than a bunch of random stuff. After that, I sort of came to out of nowhere, almost like from a bad dream and when I did I recall sliding off of the couch down onto my knees or on my but and literally thinking I don’t know who the fuck I am! What essentially happened during that time was I had what would seem like a dream but it seemed all too real where everything I had known in my life was not even real. My family was never who they were, my friend and most notably best friend who was also with me at the time was not who he was. Come to find out, I was an experiment for psychedelics and I had been getting IV’d them my whole life but they realized they had gone too far and now I was aware that everything wasn’t real. So I came to, having no recollection who I was questioning everything. Then in a blink of an eye another event happens. I’m actually fucking dead. I died in a car accident from driving while on shrooms. All I can explain is that what I saw was a first person view of a vehicle on it’s side and completely split in half. I could see my family friends everyone crying and upset that I had passed. Which yes, I know this is weird because moments ago, none of them were really in my life to begin with but I wasn’t making the rules that night. The fucking fungus was. I could hear my brother saying, you really did it now Nate. That stuck in my head because then I had a vision again of the vehicle split in half and I could also hear my wife’s voice, when that happened the reality of my death gave me a ton of guilt. Mainly because my wife recently lost her father back at the end of March and now she’s lost her husband because he’s a fucking idiot and had to do shrooms because I always like to tote that hallucinogenic mushrooms can’t kill you. So here I am now, and in my head I know have to go to my wife to explain to her that I’m dead. I know, I know, a lot of this shit makes absolutely no sense which is another reason why it is so hard to describe but it’s just how I remember the experience. During this time, I had a lot of sorrow and it was hard for me to build up the courage to confront my wife about my death. According to whoever I was hearing and telling me directions on what I need to do to move on after life, I had to confess that you can die from hallucinogenic mushrooms. There was also a point during this whole experience where I was stuck in this weird loop trying to pass over into the spirit realm. I could hear my brother and friend talking but everything was glitchy and I was on the floor at this point. I do know this because I remember grabbing onto the leg of the table a lot but I was sort of stuck in this glitch mode where they would talk but it was all glitchy. And I had a phrase that kept repeating in my head which was I wonder what it would be like to be the first person to die of hallucinogenic mushrooms. Now why I had this thought in my head? I have no idea but it was on repeat and as it repeated I kept trying to also confess that I had done it. According to my friend and brother at one point we were outside. All I really remember about that is being outside the bulkhead and looking at the neighbor’s house. It looked like it was nothing but string lights surrounding the house. It was very beautiful with the back drop of the night honestly, and there was a starlit path leading to the house. I remember being drawn to it and I think at that time my brother and friend grabbed me to try to get me back inside. I was drawn to the house because I felt that was where I had to go to get to the other side so to speak. I also remember during several parts constantly saying or yelling “I’m the firs person to die from hallucinogenic mushrooms!” I remember distinctly my brother and friend covering my mouth multiple times so I wouldn’t alert the neighbors. The majority of the experience as you can tell revolved around death and shroom usage ultimately. Some would say it was a bad trip. I won’t say it wasn’t but I can say there was a lot that came out of it for me. It gave me a greater appreciation for life I can say that much. It gave me the open mind to be open to receiving love and knowing how much me being gone would affect other people in my life. I will say it’ll be awhile before I decide to do that shit again if ever. Ultimately, it left me shook for a couple days. Especially the whole car accident bit. That had me looking over my shoulder feeling like Final Destination. All I can really say about it now is that I got spanked in the woodshed on that trip and in and seeing that I did come out of it on the other side, I am overall thankful for it, as it was definitely an eye opening experience. I also have to say I had zero recollection of what I was doing physically but from what I understand I collapsed/swan dove multiple times. If there is a part 2 of this it will be the accounts given by my brother and my best friend. I hope some of this made sense to you but either way it was an experience I had to write about. That’s all I have for now.

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