So I’ve finally delved into trying to organize this damn site a little more. I’m literally clueless on building a good website so it’s all a self learning process. I was happy to finally get some of my content on here organized a little better. I hope it’s easier to navigate for people now. Anyways, not too much else to say at the moment. I sort of drained myself just digging around and actually working so to speak. Writing is the easy part as far as this is concerned but getting it a little tidier was bit of a task. Hope it helps and I’ll be back soon with some new stuff.
Today while listening to Pandora at work, I heard “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel. I had a memory playback in my mind. It was just a small snippet of myself sitting with Eloise and Veronica, who were two Irish women I had met on my trip and we were drinking wine. It was random how it just popped up like that but I know why. If you are new to my blog you may want to look at my journal entries I had posted towards the beginning of when I started this blog. You will read on how I reflect on a moment when I actually played “In Your Eyes” on guitar and sang it at one point under the encouragement of Eloise and Veronica. I think the memory brought me to that same night just not my performance of that song. Mainly, because I don’t think I did so well with it and it’s something I would probably rather forget. I forget how I did and I think that’s my brain’s defense mechanism. I remember it happening that’s for sure just not how it went. Anyways, I’m getting a bit long winded on the whole point I want to make. When that small little snippet played in my mind, I felt a sense of peace and gratefulness. It opened my eyes to how fortunate I have been in my life. While that trip was far from perfect, in fact quite the opposite, I couldn’t help but think to myself. Wow, you’re really fortunate to have been able to do that. Along with many other travels I have been able to do. Most of them have been to Ireland and all of those trips remain dear to me as well. I even just got back in early February from a small Euro trip. I was fortunate not only for taking that trip but also on the timing of it because it was in the very beginning of the reports coming in on COVID-19. Experiences are what make life. Not money. Granted I am aware it takes money to have some experiences like travel but there are also experiences you may have had that didn’t cost anything. During these times, I think it’s best that everyone stop and think of simple things and maybe realize that not everything sucks all the time. I’ll also say, if you have that moment of clarity like I did earlier today. It will put you in a better mood. The past couple days I’ve been on a bit of an anger tear and I’m happy I had that moment today. It helped to reset my mind and realize I’ve been a fortunate one. For that, I’m thankful.
I may have went a bit hard in the paint yesterday on those whom voted for Trump. I should clarify a little about that. The ones it was really directed towards are those loyalist scum. The ones that think anything derogatory about him is “fake news”. Those are the ones that it is directed towards. I don’t have any tolerance for those that are so maliciously fucking dumb. It is really a hazard. Events like this almost make me think that hmmm… maybe there is a God and even He’s had enough of this stupidity. The movie “Idiocracy” was supposed to be a work of fiction but it looks more like it was a prediction at the rate we are going. As you can tell, I am at the very end of my rope with this administration at the moment. The more frustrating thing is how he somehow has unwavering support. I simply just don’t get it. Some people claim, well, he’s doing what he said he would. Well, read yesterday’s blog because truth is he’s not. He hasn’t done anything about draining the swamp as he says. He’s turned the swamp into an outright sewer. Oh, how much has Mexico paid for this beautiful wall that they are trying to build? Oh, I believe that would be fucking nothing. I’m just sick and tired of the blatant willingness to turn a blind eye to some of the shit that’s been said and done by this president. No cares for anything other than himself and people seem to lap that shit right up. I don’t know I guess I just can’t relate to them. I can deal with a crass president that doesn’t bother me a bit. In fact, I can understand that draw. It’s the narcissism and complete lack of truth that he represents I simply can not stand for. I remember shortly after he was elected Kelly Ann Conway speaking about “Alternative Facts” that should have been the first sign to everyone that we were in for at least 4 years of complete and utter bullshit. Facts are facts, there’s no alternative just because it doesn’t match with what you want to think. I believe there’s some sort of saying where if you tell a lie enough times it becomes truth. Let’s not get to that point, please. If you do, well that’s sort of how the Holocaust started. Lies. If you want that to happen again, well by all means we are bound for it if we continue to be listening the bullshit. The worst thing is that I am aware there is a lot of fake shit out there and that is what makes this whole thing worse. Trump isn’t 100% wrong when he had first brought up fake news. The problem is that there are hack journalists out there that write bullshit. I don’t like that either. That needs to stop, because all it does is give the slightest bit of credibility to the least credible person around. I want to believe people are better. It’s sad that there’s a large majority that make me think otherwise. Please prove me wrong.
I’ve had a lack in motivation for writing lately. As you can tell from the lack of posts that have gone up. I had big plans for a story and still nothing… I haven’t had the motivation to sit down and start writing it. Mainly, because I keep having ideas pop into my head. I’m really letting my brain stew on these ideas as well. I want it to be really good so I need to be careful not to rush in and fuck it up. Maybe I should try just going traditional paper and pen and see how it goes. Just to get it started. Anyways, enough about that for now. We have a pandemic to worry about. I mean it. I won’t lie. In the beginning of all this I didn’t make much of it. I thought it was overblown by the media. I never thought that it would create the shit storm that it has. To be brutally honest, I was laughing it off. The reason being was because of how they compare it to the flu. While it may be a new strain of flu, it is still so much more different. The main thing being how long the incubation period is for it. That being the most dangerous time because you are slowly infecting everyone else and they don’t know it and neither do you because you are contagious without having symptoms. Once that news broke, was when it clicked in my head and I realized, this is going to be a problem. Cases continue to rise and the death count as well. We are just starting to head towards what they expect to be the peak in the U.S. It’s sad to think that the only real concern for our president is how his briefing ratings on this are higher than “The Bachelor” We picked a real winner America. Or I should say, some of you did. Yeah, you know who you are. I don’t know how anybody believed a word out of his mouth in the first place. Drain the swamp? Building a wall and Mexico paying for it? What happened to that? How can you not see the blatant bullshit? I beg of you to actually take in facts for once. They wonder why people get so pissed at them. It’s because there’s nothing between the ears of substance. Well, one thing that may happen from this is that it kills off his supporters. Nature is cruel and it’s natural selection at its best. Now, mind you I don’t really wish death upon anyone. I’ll be honest though and say I could do without some people. Trump would be so proud to hear that he’s number one.
I have an interesting idea for a story I am going to write. I was actually just typing some and deleted all of it for the time being. I still wanted to write something and post it and that’s where we stand right now. I had a lot of thoughts blast through my brain while I started writing. Then my dog jumped on the couch with me and caused just enough of a distraction so that the weed hit me and took my brain on a different path. I had some good ideas blast through my mind but I just have to work it out. Too many ideas and it made everything too complex to piece together. Something’s cooking in the kitchen though, and I don’t want to burn it. Nom sayin’? (translation know what I’m saying?)
Feels good that the weekend is here. The sun is out and the temperature seems to finally be going up into what should be spring. If you took a look outside for the most part you wouldn’t think it was any different than typical every day life. Well, that’s not the case due to the fallout that is being brought by this coronavirus. The economy is going to take a massive hit from this. Restaurants could potentially be closed permanently due to being unable to recover from this. It’s sad to see happen. You wouldn’t think that’s the case staring out the window at the sunny blue sky. Unfortunately, this is the case and I wish everyone the best during these trying times. My only advice is to stop watching the news. That just feeds the monster. I haven’t really watched it because it’s just more of the same. It’s like the movie Groundhog Day. Every day the story is the same it seems. The worst of it is that no matter what, the president has to some way make it about himself. This is the sole reason I never liked the man in the first place. I knew he only cared for himself and that’s not the mentality of someone that is supposed to be the president. We have definitely been trending in a me first mentality so I feel that’s a big reason he got elected in the first place. Well, maybe this virus is just to show everyone that it’s not always about you as a singular unit. It’s about us as a whole. The human condition is inevitable though. Enough time will pass and we will be back to where we were before. All about ourselves. That’s why history seems to repeat itself. We never truly learn from it. It gets tossed on the back shelf and forgotten until tragedy strikes again. It’s like time is a broken record skipping and repeating and we are too deaf to notice.
Here I am! Being disciplined and hitting the damn keys. When I started this blog the intent was just to get writing again and to throw it out to the masses… Now, that doesn’t mean there are masses that are seeing it. I just mean in terms of getting it out there so whoever wants to see it can. Throwing it out into the universe so to speak. Over the course of writing on here, the things I’ve written have been all over the place. Some short stories, a lot of my thoughts and opinions on things, as well as a couple of travel journals. I don’t have any particular niche really. I like to write about whatever and that’s the whole purpose of this really. To work my thoughts out. Get shit off my chest. Get the flow going. Keep grinding it out. I want everything to be quality but at the same time not everything on here is going to blow your socks off. This one sure isn’t blowing mine off. Again, its just to get it out there and get flowing. It’s the practice. Anyways,I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read these ramblings. I hope they at least entertain in a way, even if it doesn’t always put me in the best light. One thing’s for sure. It’s not bullshit, I tell you exactly what I think. Sometimes you might like it. Sometimes you won’t. It’s a risk I’m willing to take. While it is out there for everyone to see, in the long run it’s really for me.
Got out early from work. It feels good. Not only because of getting out early but also because I felt accomplished. I felt I had worked hard and earned it. Mind you the work wasn’t in and of itself from today but actually from the work and effort put forth on Monday and Tuesday. I wish I have put as much effort into my writing but I’ve been lazy. No other reason. If that’s not honesty I don’t know what else to tell you. That’s what I strive to do. Give it to you straight. Pull no punches, even if it means demeaning myself in the process. No one is safe in this domain. I haven’t written because of a fucking video game and laziness. Yet, here I am today to make my confession. All I had to do was sit in front of my laptop and something will get done. It always does and that’s why this is happening right now. The free roaming mind coursing my fingers over the keys. Written diarrhea, that’s the only way to really define it. I’m not playing a video game that probably all the others are that play them. They are probably playing Call of Duty or Fortnite. Fortnite by the way is fucking dumb. I’ve tried it and I think the only reason there was hype about it was because it was free which caused a lot of people to play it. Anyways, the game I’ve been playing is Ancestors: The Humankind Odyssey. It’s fucking kinda cool. I don’t want to dull you too much about it but basically you start as a clan of chimpanzees and evolve up until being homo sapiens. It’s interesting and has really sucked me in. Now that I have confessed my sins I actually feel good. It feels good hitting these keys. I just need to keep in mind all I need to do is do it. I will start making a stronger effort. I owe it to you and to myself.
Quarantining is relatively simple when you’re an introvert. It’s life as normal for me, for the most part. I’m a homebody as I’ve gotten older and settled down. I don’t feel I always used to be. I know didn’t use to be. I would have moments where I isolate, but I would also go out a lot. It was the age thing too. When you’re younger you want to go out with your friends and chase some tail. At some point for most people, life sweeps you up as things around you, as well as yourself, change. Your friends get into serious relationships, and what used to be hanging out a couple times week, dwindles to a few times a month. You eventually find one too and that is just how it usually goes. I was one of the last out of my friends to settle down. It wasn’t necessarily by choice but due to my lack of confidence and fear of rejection. I remember when I was younger. Every fearless leap of courage I took, resulted in humiliation and failure. Those bared impact on my interactions in high school. It’s already an awkward time as it is, let alone knowing you’ve made an ass out of yourself a time or two in middle school. Sorry, for that side track… I didn’t intend to write about high school. I guess the whole point folks, is that things change. You’ve made it through those changes. You can make it through these.
Close to the end of the road now. Currently on a flight to Munich for our layover and then the final flight back to Boston. I was forced to check my backpack prior to boarding the plane. Hopefullyit arrives in Boston. I wish we had a bit more time to spend in Copenhagen as I feel there is so much we had left we could do. Either way I can that Copenhagen was a pleasant experience. I give it an A. I’m hoping that whatever crap it is I’m dealing with goes away shortly after I get back home. It’s dragged me down quite a bit. This trip felt like a long one but pretty good for the most part. Certainly a learning experience to show me what places I look forward to visiting again and places that I feel I do not. I had a good night’s rest last night. I aslo ended my last entry rather abruptly but that was due to talking to my wife. After speaking with her Jason and I went into the sauna at the hotel. It was a nice treat to help to clear my system out. I think it helped to put me to sleep as well. If I’m fortunate, maybe my ear will finally clear out. Only time will tell.
Well, that’s the last entry from my 2 week Euro trip. I can’t help but think back to myself being sick during that time and all the stuff that’s going on now. It makes me go hmmmm…. did I get it??? I don’t believe so, just a strange coincidence. I think it was from going into the Mediterranean that drunken night in Cefalu, personally. Times are strange with this virus going around. I am still currently able to work so I have an income and that’s comforting to know. The job that had irritated me so much that it sparked the fire in my ass to start this whole blog thing, I am now quite thankful for. At this point in time with my writing there has been no income. This is something I hope eventually will change and I firmly believe if I keep at it, it will. I intend to keep at it. I thank everyone that takes the time to read these thoughts, experiences, stories, and feelings of mine. I hope they provide insight, encouragement, entertainment, and humor to you. Most of all I hope they make you FEEL something. Thanks again for reading and in the meantime, take care of yourself and others.
Basket of Thoughts 